The 1980s were a great time for cheesy movies. It’s a proven fact that the greatest cheesy movies were released during the 1980s (seriously, scientists got together over a weekend and did a study). “Chopping Mall” fits in nicely with the hundreds of low-budget cheese-fests you’ve probably seen covers for as you wandered through the video store when you were younger (ah, memories).
The film follows a group of teens who decide to stay after hours in the mattress store they work at to have a party (look, it’s the ’80s, just go with it). This mall is also home to several highly advance security robots, there to patrol the empty mall and stop any would-be burglars. Unfortunately, a lightning strike has caused the bots to malfunction and start killing humans instead of just asking to see their employee badge.
It makes absolutely no sense whatsoever, but who cares? There’s lots to love here: gratuitous boob and ass shots, exploding heads, and robot catchphrases. The movie’s pretty fast, too, clocking in at around 77 minutes, so it’s really hard to get bored. And I just love how the movie transitions from a horror film to an all-out action movie at the end. It’s surprising to see the teens take their fate into their own hands, wielding some intense firepower and terrible Molotov cocktails (what mall do they work in?).
Overall, “Chopping Mall” is a fun little flick to kill an hour and a half. It’s not perfect, but it’s not trying to be, and sometimes that’s okay.